I pulled the SUV over to where the pavement met the sand and sparse grass. My hands both wanted to cradle my face in their palms, and lift themselves to the sky–a desperate plea for Christ to meet me there. My heart ached for loved ones who were experiencing pain, loss, confusion…and ached for myself, as I experienced the same emotions, and the confusion of how to help in the face of such unfathomable depths.
The water lapped softly against the shore. Further out, gentle waves rose and fell. As I’ve gotten older, the water has become a source of peace and strength for me. A reminder of who Christ is, and His role in my life. Refreshing. Life-giving. Fierce. Encompassing. A balm to the wounded soul.
And so it was–with Bebo Norman’s album Ocean playing in the background–ten minutes on the reservoir’s shore was all that was necessary to give my soul the strength it needed to keep going. Because, as always, Christ did meet me there.
That album has been constantly playing this week. It’s almost all I listen to. Norman has always been able to minister to my spirit with his songs.
I went on a jog at the Riverwalk this evening. It was a lovely day for it. As I ran, the dying sun cheered me on. With every step, I lifted up my heart to Christ. Most of the time, it was the same words, over and over: “Oh God of heaven come and hem me in. Gather the pieces that are broken. Show me the wonder of You again. Oh God of heaven.”
He is faithful. Of that I am sure. He is loving, good, and perfect. His mercies never cease. He has taken me as His own–given His name to me…made me a child of God.
Sometimes I do not understand what is going on, or what will happen. I do not understand what His full plan is for my life.
Sometimes we do not understand. And that’s okay. We do not have to. That is the beautiful truth of being a child of God. He will give us what we need in the time in which we need it.
In the meantime, I will hold fast to Him–to the God of my everything– and to the truths I know to be certain.